Once a Christian, always a Christian??
I became a believer at the tender age of 17 right before my senior year of high school. I was not raised in a Christian home but was raised with what one could deem "Christian morals". Whatever that means. Like a baby birthed into the world, I gasped for as much spiritual air and nutrients as possible. Very quickly I became keenly aware of my desire to study theology and go into ministry. Without giving the elongated background story that is deserved, I will provide a snapshot of my faith journey.
Electively slingshot into my education as a Religion major, I gobbled it all up like a starved child. I attended a Reformed Church of America, Christian college. It turns out that most folks that attend Christian colleges were actually raised in Christian homes. In West Michigan, a large portion of the student body were raised in conservative Christian homes. Insert Jess; existing in my newly found Christian faith for only a year. I knew the love and power of God but had no idea about scripture, Christian rhetoric, or the nice LARGE outline of how to act or what to be in order to be acceptable to God's people. Expectations. Expectations. Expectations.
I never fit. Certain Christian expectations and beliefs never washed well with me. I've always believed Adam and Eve were a bit hairier than we give them credit for. If Noah didn't sail his great ark, I don't care. I believe love is love and cannot be confined to the gender our bodies portray. I am pro-choice in certain cases and pro-life in many others. I'm not exactly certain that hell exists. I cuss like a sailor, drink like a fish, love to dance, play cards, occasionally smoke, like rock n' roll, and hangout with others that do the same. There are many other things that make me, me but those are some of the items that disqualify me from being a pristine Christian. Oh, did I mention I like women?! College was a challenge for me to uphold my beliefs in a sea of conservative Christians. There was so much pressure to fit into that Christian ideal and morally speaking, I just couldn't allow myself to blend in.
In hindsight, God swooped in to my life at the right time. I hadn't yet become knowledgable and callused to the hypocrisy that the Christian church often portrays. We are called not to judge, yet we close the church doors to those we deem unacceptable. We make judgements on appearances, lifestyles, family backgrounds, money, etc. etc. The church tends to make judgements on everything. Some of the most beautiful people I've known have been my Christian friends. Adversely so, the most accepting, understanding, and unconditional loving people I've known are the good souls that don't believe in God or at least don't buy into any of the Christian rhetoric, outline, bullshit. And we, the church, sit in condemnation of these folks because, after all, "Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life and no once comes to the Father accept through Him", right?!
There are so many avenues I could go down with what I have started here, and maybe someday I will go down them but I'm going to attempt to focus a bit. The body of believers that have encompassed my life are not in support of me forgiving or reconciling with an individual that has done me wrong. Forgiveness and reconciliation does not equate to full restoration to the way things used to be but it means we are loving enough, smart enough, and beautiful enough to simply forgive and move on. To me, so many things about Christianity (as humans have morphed it) are so backwards and against God's word. Let us not forget about what scripture says. I'd love to lay out all the verses that would act like a 2x4 against the face and cause one to feel like Chris Farely in Tommy Boy, but there is not enough time in one or 10 days to do that.
As a bi-sexual, beer loving, dancing, woman in college declared her self as a Religion major unblushingly to a bunch of conservative Christians that I cared (care) deeply for, I say in true form to myself, I will not compromise myself to the outline the church has given me and my true leader is not expectation, but Christ. Christian writer, Donald Miller who wrote Blue Like Jazz and I could most definitely hang-out. Let's get it right people. Let us follow Christ and not Christians.
There are so many avenues I could go down with what I have started here, and maybe someday I will go down them but I'm going to attempt to focus a bit. The body of believers that have encompassed my life are not in support of me forgiving or reconciling with an individual that has done me wrong. Forgiveness and reconciliation does not equate to full restoration to the way things used to be but it means we are loving enough, smart enough, and beautiful enough to simply forgive and move on. To me, so many things about Christianity (as humans have morphed it) are so backwards and against God's word. Let us not forget about what scripture says. I'd love to lay out all the verses that would act like a 2x4 against the face and cause one to feel like Chris Farely in Tommy Boy, but there is not enough time in one or 10 days to do that.
As a bi-sexual, beer loving, dancing, woman in college declared her self as a Religion major unblushingly to a bunch of conservative Christians that I cared (care) deeply for, I say in true form to myself, I will not compromise myself to the outline the church has given me and my true leader is not expectation, but Christ. Christian writer, Donald Miller who wrote Blue Like Jazz and I could most definitely hang-out. Let's get it right people. Let us follow Christ and not Christians.
Once a Christian, Always a Christian?
Once a follower of Christ, Always a follower of Christ.
Praise be to my God and Father who came into my life at the exact right moment! I am who I am and according Psalm 139:14, "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." I'll continue to go against the grain and exert the qualities He calls me to. This time, this period of my life, it's FORGIVENESS, RECONCILIATION, AND LOVE as defined by 1 Corinthians 13.
My Savior turned water into wine; I will drink. My Savior dinned with the desolate and washed the feet of sinners; I think I will keep the same company as Him, especially because I am one of them.
Praise be to God.
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