Love at First Sight

“God is great, beer is good and people are crazy.”

            The belief that that an individual can fall in love with another at first sight has always been seen by me as either absolute poppy-cock or for those that are not me.   The notion that an individual can lay their eyes on a future beloved and know intrinsically that the target of sight is their one and only defies sensibility and logic.  It perpetrates the comforts of knowing and boundaries, yet manages to be a notion that all that are single either are intrigued by or secretly wish the love bug touched them. 

            For our friends or family that have relationships where they claim they found love at first sight and knew immediately, we caution them and we find ourselves embedded in the conundrum of thinking they are idiots but wanting the phenomenon to be true for ourselves.   Much like God and Heaven, we want it to be true.  We hold hope but the skepticism in us usually reigns. The notion that our paths can simply brush with another and intuition can kick in so hard that we know instantaneously that they are meant to be our forever is both ludicrous and intriguing. 

            I read a research article on sciencedaily.com that says, “Falling in love can elicit not only the same euphoric feeling as using cocaine, but also affects intellectual areas of the brain. Falling in love only takes about a fifth of a second.” The question they posed after stating this is, is it the brain or the heart that does the falling in love?  Either way, I don’t care.  As a non-married woman, the process involved is irrelevant.  All I want to know is when it happens and whom it is with.  Some, if not all would say that I was a hopeless romantic in my younger years; in love with love, rose pedaled glasses, idealistic to a fault…yadda, yadda, yadda.  And they would be right.  Love was a meal perfected and I wanted to taste of it daily.  I had a vicious hunger. The slab of love that I had served up on my plate, however, was of the Taco Bell ground beef variety and not of the filet mignon variety.

            So here lies in wait a 30-year-old woman who has not found neither love at first sight nor that delicious filet mignon plate…or have I? I no longer wear the rose-pedaled glasses of loves idealism.  I’ve been to broken down by that system of belief to subscribe any longer. I am genuinely concerned for my beloved friends and family who fall in love quickly and yet, when I become immersed in loves wake, I understand and do not fret.  I understand the hypocrisy in this.   Though I have a superior sense of how I feel and why I feel it compared to those that care and do fret about my life choices.  It is true that I have drowned in my Taco Bell love experiences before.   The ground beef snuffed me out!   But what happens when love really does come around????

            Love has come around for me.  It was not love at first sight or second sight.  It was love that I wanted to shun for I have become a disbeliever in my own ability to find happiness with someone else.  You get so used to the shit that when Gold shows up at your doorstep, it’s a learning curve.  It’s met with almost a resistance.  I do not desire to keep referencing this metaphor but it’s rather accurate; when an individual is used to eating Taco Bell for fulfillment and then you switch over to filet mignon and say, asparagus….one is left craving the crap nutrition of T-Bell.  Bad love isn’t too far from that.  The healthy comes in and we crave the carbs and saturated love fat. We want to eat in the car instead of the fancy restaurant. 

            Do I believe I found my love in the fifth of a second research says it takes? No.  (Perhaps it was a 5^th of a second from when I didn’t know to when I knew) But then again, do I have all the knowledge and tools I need to make a well informed, educated, logical decision on this love piece? Nope.  But doesn’t love in its very form transcend logic?  We can sometimes quantify it and qualify it with data and logical reason but it is my belief that for EVERYONE there are elements that supersede logic and mathematical equations.  We all cry wolf on love until the moment a wolf really shows up.  But who believes us when we get to that point?!  Especially after so many attempts to cry out?!

            Love can happen at first sight for some.  Personally, I think I’m not intellectual or intuitive enough to know if it were to happen for me.  All I have to work with is this;  I know how I feel.  I know I don’t trust diddly-damn-doo at this point and I also know that I have faith that there is someone out there for me.   I know that my filet mignon has ended up on my plate and that I’m found feening for the ever unhealthy Taco “Hell” in my arteries.  Good food and good love is a learning curve and an adjustment indeed.  Love is unpredictable and people are crazy.  =)   Bon-appetite!