"WORK IS LOVE MADE VISIBLE" - Khalil Gibran
I began the job of a lifetime a little over 3 years ago as an Education and Employment Counselor for Urban Peak. I knew heading into it that it was going to be a life-altering, eye-opening, life-giving, experience. I bought a new journal to write in with the hopes that I would chronicle my experiences working for Urban Peak. I quickly realized that writing about the situations that profoundly affected me would be almost as exhausting as the emotional effort that I put into my clients. On those days that my heart was wrenched in one way or another, the last thing I had energy for was to write it all and relive it.
I had the blessing, honor, and distinction of working with and counseling homeless youth in downtown Denver. When I embarked on my educational journey at Hope College as a Religion major, little did I know that in a few years I would be doing the work that I was able to. I was a white, privileged kid from "Mayberry land", Grand Haven, Michigan. Grand Haven resembles paradise along the lakeshore. We do not have parking meters, cameras on stop lights, or speed traps along the way. We also do not have homeless folks panhandling (a term I only became familiar with once hired at Urban Peak; begging for money, etc. in the street), let alone homeless children sleeping on the streets. The world is very different from the world I grew up in and went to college in. It's amazing how even people who live in the suburbs around Denver and frequent the city can have absolutely no idea how youth homelessness is such an issue. But it is...
Truthfully speaking, I could write a whole book on my experiences working for Urban Peak and the homeless youth of Denver. Truthfully speaking, I will NEVER capture a fraction of my experience in just one blog. My whole journey working for homeless youth began when my loathing of the injustice of our society for the need for panhandlers in the Denver/Metro area met with Netflix and a documentary called Skid Row by rapper Pras from the Refugees. It was clear to me that Pras, although well intended, was a music star with a heart for the plight of homeless folks but lacked a personal connection with those that were experiencing homelessness. Upon seeing his documentary, I wanted to take the cause and my loathing of the social issue a step further; I wanted to know, build relationships with, and deliver aid...any kind of aid...to those in need. Combine this passion and desire with my desire and passion for youth and education and I ended up in the most perfect position; counseling homeless youth in life, in work, and in education.
I've always been a relationally based person. "Real" work seems empty if it's void of human growth for me. What I do (vocationally) most definitely needs to be feeding others, AKA giving back to humanity. I feel it's my social duty to pour my energies vocationally into people. It stands to reason then that I shall make a living serving others. I'm interested in and passionate about psychological abnormalities and nature vs. nurture affects. In my profession I have witnessed the ridiculous negative affects of nature vs. nurture (HEAVE EMPHASIS ON NURTURE). Speaking in generalizations: I've seen that for most 80% of what we do in life seems to be a manifestation of the social support and structures we have been raised with. I refer to this as our "tool box". Some of us, due to how we were raised, have been given more tools to store away than others.
Being raised in a Republican family composed of two leading male figures that have been cops their whole lives, I was nurtured into thinking at a young age that homelessness was a lazy man's disease. It was a problem to those that fell on bad luck and didn't exercise determination and resiliency and pull themselves up by their boot straps. The problem of homelessness was literally summed up just as that. The issue was black and white, as most issues of social justice and morality were. The trouble with the black and white is that it takes out the individual in that position. It is void of circumstance, resources, and other extenuating circumstances. It's void of humanity.
Insert 27 year-old Jessica Robinson. A woman, yet very much so a child in regards to her experiences with the nitty gritty of real life. Entering into my position I was already anticipating that the youth I served would add more to my life than I could to theirs Ya see, if you don't move forward with people with some concrete foundation of respect and the anticipation that they can add to you just as much if not more than you can to them, all is lost already. My tool box might be more built up than some of them but what is important to recognize is that we are all on a journey...the same journey. We might take different paths but we're all trying to do the same thing here; survive. Being in the position I was, I could put youth in touch with a multitude of different resources for school and employment. I would play that honest, loving, directive, consistent individual many had been missing growing up. I've helped youth in their most basic of needs; hygiene, nutrition, self-esteem, and walked with them through the steps of filing for taxes, applying for FAFSA, speaking with professors, teachers, and probation officers, etc. Things that most of us had our parents to direct us in, I walked through with my youth who did not have the family support. I had the honor of rejoicing in their successes - obtaining their GED, being accepted into college, giving birth, or just merely finding their voice in this world. As I had the honor and privilege of walking through their successes with them, I also had the honor and privilege of experiencing their heartache and pain with them. Further rejection from families, struggles with sexual orientation, drug abuse and addiction, mental health issues in the most severest forms, sexual abuse, beatings, arrests, rejection, court dates, sleepless nights, abandonment, etc.
One of the most eye opening experiences I had was one that would happen fairly regularly. I would arrive at work at 8:30 in the morning at work. I would park my car and sometimes have to ask youth to clear out their camps in order for me to park my car. They would be asleep on the concrete outside of our building in our parking spaces. They had slept there for the night because it was one of the only places that they felt safe for the night without fearing their lives. At times the youth that I asked to move out of the way were the youth I taught, case managed, and had my life touched by on a regular basis. These were the kids that despite sleeping on the streets, showed up for class at 10am to better their lives. They showed up for no other reason than to make themselves better than they were the day before.
Imagine your life living on the streets. No concrete form of social support; every man for them-self. Your belongings are never safe. You don't know where your next meal is coming from. You have no clue where you're going to sleep that night. It might be the garbage bin next to the building you feel most secure being at. Throw in some mental health issues on that and it's a recipe for disaster....yet, youth are so resilient. You and me, we probably wouldn't survive but these kids do! And for that I have all the respect in the world. The maintain a sense of humor and hope amidst all the difficulties. It's amazing actually.
I lost 3 youth while working for Urban Peak. The first youth was a 20 year-old gentleman. The last time I saw him he was on my office phone screaming at someone on the other end that someone was going to die. He stormed out of my office that day and I wished that he would stay and discuss matters with me. I next received an email that he had been brutally murdered, found in some bushes so hacked up that the police officers could not identify his race. The next was a young woman of 19. A hard-ass chick that had some tender points. She had been in the system all her life. In and out of treatment facilities. She was murdered a few blocks down from where I worked; the shot to the throat is what killed her. The most amazing, life giving funeral I've ever attended was hers. The last but not least was a young man, 19 years of age as well. He was a young military man that had the unfortunate burden of carrying the weight that he was gay. I had the pleasure of having numerous one on one conversations where he would bring his deepest thoughts and concerns to the table. I remember him as a welcoming, loving, deep feeling man. He intentionally overdosed while staying in a hotel after he was let go from our shelter due to mental health concerns that exceeded our capacity. The situation that got him dismissed was cutting himself and wiping the blood of his arms around his eyes and walking around the shelter. He died May 18th, 2013. I ran the fastest and farthest of my life on May 19th last year for the Colfax marathon because I had his name on my mind. I ran on a relay team for Urban Peak to raise money for our organization. I ran for S.F. and all my youth.
In a position like I was in, you don't forget the names, the faces, and the stories of the youth you encounter. You don't forget the joy in the midst of hardship or triumph in a land filled with barrier after barrier. The staff at Urban Peak are one of a kind. They are truly dedicated to the mission and their youth. They approach life with a classic sense of humor, joy, and love. I was more than blessed to serve along side of them. They are warriors for the youth they serve. The staff and youth will serve as a constant reminder throughout my life just how beautiful this world is. Thanks to my position at Urban Peak, I know the pleasure of being apart of something so much greater than myself. I know what it is like to literally be willing to lay your life down for that greater thing and accept your own mortality. I will carry my experiences, the youth, and staff with me throughout my life. I have without a doubt been profoundly affected by the work I was blessed enough to do.
A famous theologian by the name of Fredrick Buechner once wrote, "The place God calls you to is the place where you're deepest gladness and the world's deepest hunger meet". We all have our place in this world vocationally speaking and as members of society. I believe in pursuing what brings you great joy and what, in some form, brings others joy. One of the most beautiful things in this life is being a part of this squeaky, rusty, machine called civilization and having the joy of working together in some way (no matter how broken or asshole-ish we are). We are all contributors; no one is exempt. I thank God for it all and plan to continue to seek and serve where my joy meets the world's hunger.
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